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For the daughters and sons doing the research
Your parent mentioned a reverse mortgage. Now what?
Maybe Mom brought it up at Sunday dinner. Maybe you found a brochure on the counter. Maybe you're the one wondering how she'll afford home care. Either way, you're here doing homework for someone you love — which is exactly what should happen.
Your protectiveness is an asset. Use it.
Seniors are targeted by financial predators more than any other group, and you know it — that's why you're reading instead of assuming. So let me say this clearly: your skepticism is welcome here. A legitimate reverse mortgage professional should be delighted when adult children get involved, ask hard questions, and slow things down. Anyone who treats you as an obstacle is telling you something important.
The three questions you're probably really asking
"Is someone taking advantage of my parent?"
Check three things in an afternoon: the agent's licence on FSRA's public registry (mine is through BRX Mortgage Inc., FSRA #13549), that the lender is one of Canada's three federally regulated reverse mortgage lenders (HomeEquity Bank, Equitable Bank, Bloom), and that no one is pushing a deadline. Ontario also requires your parent to get independent legal advice from their own lawyer before anything completes — a built-in circuit breaker.
"Will this eat the whole inheritance?"
It reduces it — that's real, and the honest starting point. Interest compounds because there are no monthly payments, so the loan balance grows over time. But lending caps are conservative, and most families still have meaningful equity at the end. The right way to see it: get the year-by-year projection in writing and look at actual numbers, not fears. I provide that on every file, and the free guide shows a worked example.
"Is this actually better than the alternatives?"
Sometimes no. If your parent can qualify for and comfortably service a HELOC, that's usually cheaper. If they'd genuinely be happier downsizing, that frees more money. A reverse mortgage wins when staying home matters most and monthly payments don't fit the budget. I'll compare all the options with your family honestly — including the ones I don't sell.
How to be helpful (without a family fight)
- Ask what problem they're solving. "What made you look into this?" beats "You're not doing that." The answer — a tight month, a roof, helping a grandchild, fear of being a burden — is the real conversation.
- Do the homework together. Read the guide, come to the consultation, sit in on the lawyer meeting. Involvement beats veto power — it's their home and their decision, and they'll hear you better as an ally.
- Insist on the numbers in writing. Amount, rate, costs, and a ten-year balance projection. Any professional who hesitates to provide this is the wrong professional.
- Watch for the real red flags. Urgency, upfront fees, "don't mention this to your kids," promises of guaranteed amounts, or US-style terms like "HECM" on Canadian websites.
Join the call. Seriously.
I do consultations with adult children on the line all the time — from across the city or across the country. Ask anything. Protect your parent. That's the job we share.